Sunday, August 13, 2006

Little Fatty's Revenge

So it turns out Little Fatty isn't dead after all. Perhaps he was vacationing by the seaside and decided it was time to come back and see if I'd planted anything new for him to eat. It was strange that his return coincided with a visit from my mother. It was in the morning and we spotted him out the kitchen window, having himself a lawn snack. It's funny, but the very first time I noticed him was when my mother-in-law was here. Maybe Little Fatty is a mother herself. Maybe she feels safe to come out when there's an overwhelming maternal air surrounding the place. Or perhaps he/she just likes ticking off as many people at once as possible.

My mom suggested putting some mothballs under the shed where I suspect one of his burrows is located. That's where he retreats whenever one of us comes screaming out the back door to chase him away. I had also heard this could work so I picked some up at the grocery store and took all the contents and threw them all over, under the shed. I thought, there's no way he's going to come near this place now. It was pretty stinky.

But apparently Little Fatty has no sense of smell or he is just a vengeful little beast who doesn't dig my poetry. And now when we chase him back under the shed he only remains there for a minute or so, peeking out to see if we've gone back inside the house. You know we've got windows, you overgrown gerbil!!

So now I have stunted flowers, bald patches in my lawn and my yard reeks of mothballs. Yes, it truly is an oasis. Don't be jealous, folks- it took a lot of effort to get it this way.

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