Wherein We See The Difference Between Boys And Girls
The kids and I were playing with some mini, plastic superhero characters this morning. It's a set that comes with Captain America, Spiderman and Wolverine. This particular set is made for little kids, and comes with a little playground set that is put together Leggo style and features a slide, a see saw and a climbing wall for the three superheros to play on. My mom got it for David back when we lived in Vermont. We rediscovered it again recently and even though they don't know these superheros, they know they're supposed to have "super powers" and therefore are "super cool".
David's got Captain America and Sofi's got Wolverine and Spiderman. Somehow she ended up with two, but David didn't seem to mind. They decide to have a small, stuffed cow be the helpless victim and dangle him from a step on the staircase.
David: "FSHHHHUUUUU!!!!! FSHHHUUUUUUUU!!" He straightens Cap. America's arms and makes him fly around the room, occasionally crashing into things, like the ottoman, the cat, the lamp. "Don't worry...I will save you!"
Sofia: She's busy trying to put the playground set together. "Mommy, Fiderman needs a kiss. He likes kisses."
Me: "Oh...okay." I give the molded plastic hero a kiss.
Sofia: "No, he wants a kiss from Ulverine." She makes Spiderman and Wolverine kiss. "He likes hugs, too." She smiles, and the two embrace.
Me: "Well, that's nice that they're such good friends."
Meanwhile David is now throwing Captain America into the air while crashing himself into various objects in the room. He's making alternate flying and crashing sounds.
Sofia: "Fiderman wants some ice cream. He likes ice cream!" She proceeds to stick a plastic peg from her stacking peg board into his cupped hand and she makes slurping sounds. "Dat is some goooood ice cream!"
David is also sticking little objects into the hands of Captain America and then having him throw them at the wall, while making more loud smashing sounds. Sofia is staring lovingly at her Wolverine and Spiderman while holding them as though they were newborn kittens, petting them gently, whispering softly near their little heads.
My children do not fall neatly into stereotypical gender roles- they are constantly breaking the mold for those supposed "boy/girl behaviors". But days like this do remind me how very different males and females are at the core and how no matter how culture continues to transform us, some things will never change.
David's got Captain America and Sofi's got Wolverine and Spiderman. Somehow she ended up with two, but David didn't seem to mind. They decide to have a small, stuffed cow be the helpless victim and dangle him from a step on the staircase.
David: "FSHHHHUUUUU!!!!! FSHHHUUUUUUUU!!" He straightens Cap. America's arms and makes him fly around the room, occasionally crashing into things, like the ottoman, the cat, the lamp. "Don't worry...I will save you!"
Sofia: She's busy trying to put the playground set together. "Mommy, Fiderman needs a kiss. He likes kisses."
Me: "Oh...okay." I give the molded plastic hero a kiss.
Sofia: "No, he wants a kiss from Ulverine." She makes Spiderman and Wolverine kiss. "He likes hugs, too." She smiles, and the two embrace.
Me: "Well, that's nice that they're such good friends."
Meanwhile David is now throwing Captain America into the air while crashing himself into various objects in the room. He's making alternate flying and crashing sounds.
Sofia: "Fiderman wants some ice cream. He likes ice cream!" She proceeds to stick a plastic peg from her stacking peg board into his cupped hand and she makes slurping sounds. "Dat is some goooood ice cream!"
David is also sticking little objects into the hands of Captain America and then having him throw them at the wall, while making more loud smashing sounds. Sofia is staring lovingly at her Wolverine and Spiderman while holding them as though they were newborn kittens, petting them gently, whispering softly near their little heads.
My children do not fall neatly into stereotypical gender roles- they are constantly breaking the mold for those supposed "boy/girl behaviors". But days like this do remind me how very different males and females are at the core and how no matter how culture continues to transform us, some things will never change.
posted by Kristen @ 11:51 PM
7 Comments:
At 2:10 AM,
Anonymous said…
We try to raise our kids gender-neutral. I like to think of my son as a pretty enlightened kid. He says stuff to his sister like, "you can do that too, it doesn't matter if you're a girl!"
But my daughter, for all of our efforts, flounces about like a princess, prefers pink over blue, and tells her brother he can only sing the "boy parts" in songs, not the "girl parts"! (They have a lot of arguments about this in the car.)
"Fiderman", though, is just so extremely cute, how can you object, really? :)
At 8:16 AM,
Anonymous said…
Amen. Sometimes it's just in the genes.
PS. I'd totally be giving Ulverine a kiss. The guy's a stud.
At 11:31 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ah, I remember 'Fiderman' and 'Ulverine', the Yiddish superhero wonder duo! Oy!
At 4:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ulverine is a total stud and way less wimpy than Peter Parker.
At 8:51 PM,
Kristen said…
Yes, despite all the effort to not inflict gender roles, they manifest themselves nonetheless. One thing I didn't know about boys and girls that I am convinced of now is that boys are much more sensitive than girls. They really need to be allowed to express their emotions...and girls, well, you just don't want to mess with them because they are tough!
Ah yes, the Yiddish superhero duo...As much as I like the "Ulverine" I think I may be partial to the "Fiderman", myself. He's got that bookish, sensitive thing going on.
At 12:10 AM,
Anonymous said…
Both of my girls love superheroes. My youngest daughter, who is now 7, seems to always be attracted to the "bricks." Her favorites are The Thing, Hellboy, Wolverine, and The Hulk (her most favorite of all).
For her birthday a couple of years back, I gave her a little wind-up Hulk that walked around. She played with it for hours - then when I went to put her to bed that night, I found him on her nightstand, tucked snugly into a little swan-shaped wicker basket, complete with a little doll blanket to keep him cozy.
At 9:47 PM,
Baba said…
Right. We tried to dissuade stereotypical gender stuff in our parenting. Further, neither my wife or I are very handy or mechanical. (Our son doesn't get a lot of outside or media influence, either.) Nevertheless, my son loves machines, construction, figuring out how things are put together, etc. He definitely has a more nuturing side, too. But his strong "boyishness" is a little surprising.
I went to elementary "education school" during the peak of liberal political correctness of the '90's. I was convinced that society negatively crammed kids into strict gender roles. I painstakingly avoided saying things like "my class this year has a lot of boys, so it's going to be an 'energetic' group" as sexist. It didn't take but a couple weeks in a real classroom to shatter my P.C.-ness and/or render it useless. In the classroom and especially on the playground, with notable exceptions, most elementary kids are very much directed by and aware of their gender. If you dare mix boy and girl stuff too much they are either tittering or appalled.
I was reminded of this a couple of months ago when I subbed in a kindergarten class. During class, gender wasn't that noticeable. At free play time or indoor recess, a few pairs of "rebels" played non-stereotypical games, hopping about, etc. The majority of the boys, however, darted to the mini-Lego sets, where teams were constructing these elaborate projects. Most of the girls bolted toward the house-play area, dressed up and began role-playing, setting the table, etc. The division and, moreover, the kids' fervor was remarkable . . . and a little scary.
Learned or genetic or both, "gender identity" is very powerful at that grade-school age.
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