Practical Parenting Tips
Since the kids are playing so nicely together, I thought I would take a minute here to introduce my blog post series, "Practical Parenting Tips", wherein I will sporadically post my best parenting tricks of the trade, covering topics ranging from discipline to practical household maintenance. For example, this little gem...
Tip #1:
Children messed up the living room again? Is the hallway littered with a highway of army men, "Rescue Heroes" and assorted "Hello Kitty" paraphernalia? Is the clutter driving you insane but you've no time to clean? Not a problem. Simply remove your contacts/eyeglasses and continue about your day as usual. The mess will become a cloudy blur and you will feel your blood pressure return to normal in no time! Not visually impaired? No problem! Simply ask the kids to play a game of hide-and-seek and lock yourself in a dark closet for several hours. You will get the added bonus of some quiet time and maybe you can even sneak in a short nap. If your children have already figured out all your best hiding places, your next best bet is to engage them in a game of "coma patient", wherein you are the patient, lying quietly on the bed or couch with your eyes firmly closed as your children think of ways to revive you. This has the added benefit of allowing the kids to work on their problem-solving techniques. Always remember: if you can't see the mess, you can pretend that it doesn't exist.
I've got a million of them folks. Just leave your questions in the comments field and I will be back with your solution within 24-465 hours. Cheers!
Tip #1:
Children messed up the living room again? Is the hallway littered with a highway of army men, "Rescue Heroes" and assorted "Hello Kitty" paraphernalia? Is the clutter driving you insane but you've no time to clean? Not a problem. Simply remove your contacts/eyeglasses and continue about your day as usual. The mess will become a cloudy blur and you will feel your blood pressure return to normal in no time! Not visually impaired? No problem! Simply ask the kids to play a game of hide-and-seek and lock yourself in a dark closet for several hours. You will get the added bonus of some quiet time and maybe you can even sneak in a short nap. If your children have already figured out all your best hiding places, your next best bet is to engage them in a game of "coma patient", wherein you are the patient, lying quietly on the bed or couch with your eyes firmly closed as your children think of ways to revive you. This has the added benefit of allowing the kids to work on their problem-solving techniques. Always remember: if you can't see the mess, you can pretend that it doesn't exist.
I've got a million of them folks. Just leave your questions in the comments field and I will be back with your solution within 24-465 hours. Cheers!
posted by Kristen @ 8:30 AM
11 Comments:
At 3:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
Okay, I'm starting a notebook and I'm writing all of this down!
Here's a question only YOU can solve:
What do you do when the poison control center starts to recognize your voice and calls you by name?
At 5:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
Love this!
My question: how do I stop three children fighting whenever I have to be at home? Or is this a joy only a mother of three boys like mine has to endure?
At 2:31 AM,
Idaho Dad said…
A few years ago during a game of hide-and-seek, I rolled myself up in a large quilt on the floor at the foot of my bed. The kids couldn't find me, and I ended up enjoying a nice nap.
The sad thing is, they stopped looking after awhile and went to play with their mom. None of them wondered where I went!
At 11:58 AM,
Kristen said…
Min- Hmm, that's a tricky one, but I do have an answer. It will be forthcoming in my next blogpost so watch for it.
Ella- I think your boys are just young and impressionable enough for this to work: The next time they start in with the fighting you jump into the fray with the loudest "HIII-YAA" that you can muster and whirl about the room doing high kicks and punches in the air. The more manic, the better. Continue in this vain until they all stop and stare at you with the shock and horror of just having witnessed the onslaught of "Ninja Momma". Then you stop and calmly say, "Now that's what you boys looks like when you fight. Cool, huh?" If they don't stop the fighting, just continue with the aforementioned display until they do. Failing that, I recommend a large glass of wine and a small box of chocolates.
Phil- Ha! See everyone? I wasn't kidding when I said you really could sneak in a nap. Your children may forget you, but it's good to know that they can get along without you if you ever really go missing.
At 10:38 AM,
HLiza said…
I love this too! You're so funny Kristen... I do the same thing here, not wearing my glasses so that I can't see the toys everywhere..
I'm gonna try the hide and seek; sounds irresistable!
At 3:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
I do this thing called "clean up the room I'm sitting in and pretend the rest of the house doesn't exist." It works almost as well.
Now, should I do the dishes, or buy more dishes so I don't have to wash the dirty ones? Please advise.
At 3:27 PM,
Kristen said…
Melissa- that is also an excellent solution to the messy house problem, which I have also tried as well. Works wonders. As for the dishes, I recommend (if they are not too precious to you) accidentally breaking each one over the course of the day. If you can accidentally break them over the garbage can, even better. This will require you to go shopping for more, which is yet another opportunity to be removed from any residual house mess.
At 3:37 AM,
Flea said…
Another relief to learn not just my house is scattered full of toys.
Cool tip, what to do if you don't wear classes??
At 12:14 PM,
Anonymous said…
Thanks for the solution! The fighting stopped with Ninja Mommy but I went on to the wine and chocolates anyway. Was that cheating?
At 2:02 AM,
practical parenting said…
Tips like this are very important to me. I always make sure that it is on my list of tips so that if I need something I know what to do. Thank you for sharing these very amazing tips.
At 3:11 AM,
Sumon Barmon said…
I must be in your own home? Or are these claims a pleasure only a mom of 3 boys such as mine needs to endure?
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