Angry pregnant lady

Oops, I did it again.

I let my hormones get the better of me. I guess this is one of the few times in my life I can use that as an excuse, so maybe I shouldn't sweat it.

This time I yelled at an old lady. Well, she wasn't really that old, and I'm pretty certain with her car windows all rolled up she couldn't hear me anyway.

I was in the parking lot of our favorite grocery store with the kids and I'd just unloaded them for the minivan when a car comes zipping past us, mere feet from my daughter, making a speedy exit through the parking spaces, because you know, they're empty and it's not like anyone might pull in to park there and certainly no one could be standing there, certainly not a small child that you might not see over your silly oversized Ray-Bans and fluffy steering wheel cover.

So after grabbing Sofia out of harm's way and standing there all rattled, trying to compose myself, yet another car comes whizzing past us (not as close) through the same set of empty parking spaces. The woman even smiles at me. Like, "hey, howya doing? Don't mind if I plow your kids down, do ya? Besides, looks like you've got an extra on the way!"

Now I know. Lots of people do this. I see it all the time, people shaving a few seconds off their drive by taking some shortcuts through the lot. I think I am one of the few people who won't do this, because I am completely paranoid that I am not going to see someone coming and I'm going to crash them. And I don't want to crash anyone.

Anyway, I yelled at the second car as it went by and waved my arms about like I was bringing in a jet plane. I think I shouted something to the effect of, "You're NOT supposed to drive cut through the lot like that!!!" displaying the parking spaces like a disgruntled Vanna White. She kept on going, cutting through a few more before she was out of sight. I looked down at the kids who were staring at me as if to ask, "what did you do with our mommy?"

I guess the maternal instincts have gone into overdrive. I'd better have this kid soon or someone could end up hurt...or just very amused at the sight of an overly pregnant woman jumping about and flailing her arms.

Do not adjust your screen...

Wide load, coming through
Originally uploaded by Ernesto and Kristen Burden.

Yeah, so that's me. Pretty big, but then there is probably a nine pounder in there, so that's to be expected. Now I look back and laugh at that first photo I blogged where I thought I looked big. Ha. Ha. Silly, silly me.

I'm a little over 38 weeks and beginning to get pretty excited. I've actually finished all the last minute tasks I've set out to do and things are ready as they're going to get. I'm cleaning everything in sight and it's really annoying, but I can't help it.

Ernesto has been making me walk around a lot and trying to get me to eat spicy food. He's not fooling anyone.

I recently read that the highest percentage of births in America fall on Tuesday. So who's willing to place some bets? What should the stakes be? Is it going to be this week, next week or God forbid...the week after that? You tell me folks, because I haven't got a clue.

Saturday morning post

Yes, preggy photo still to come, but the camera's batteries keep dying each time Ernesto tries to take my picture. I think it's a sign.

I'm sure you have better things to do, but in the meantime you can check this out. Hope you're all having a lovely weekend!

podOmatic - Podcast

Random Bits

Highlights (and lowlights) from this past week so far:

*Woke up from a deep sleep, thinking I was going into labor around 2:30 am, early Tuesday. Was able to fall back to sleep after about an hour of futzing around the house and playing on the computer. Woke up again a few hours later, and was no longer convinced I was in labor. Of course now the household and other concerned parties are on "high alert" and this finally forced me to get that last minute stuff wrapped up. Hmmm, most of it, anyway.

*The kids have invented a new Rescue Hero by the name of "Braxton Hicks". Apparently his special talent is putting out fires. You'd think it would be inciting pregnant woman to fits of violence, but whatever.

*I am apparently entering the "highly emotional" phase of my last trimester. I've been giving the evil eye to anyone who stares at my bump for more than three seconds. And I have absolutely no patience at the post office. Oh wait, that's not new.

*Yesterday Sofia put on a big show of being pregnant "just like mommy". It was both horrifying and hilariously cute at the same time. I got it all on video. She had a quick delivery and gave birth to a small black and white kitty. Needless to say we are all bursting with love and pride over the new addition to our family.

And for those who have been asking, I will post a photo before the end of the week. Maybe the sheer horror of seeing myself online like that will help to induce labor.

Silliness

Sure, there are a million things we could have done yesterday (like shopping for the baby's dresser) but we did this instead. I guess with everything going on we needed a little comic relief. If you have five minutes to spare, check it out and sample the silliness that is my family for yourself.

*For transcripts on what the children are actually saying in English, please send $1.00 and a SASE to "Those Wacky Burdens, Manchvegas, NH". Thank you for your support.

Bad Dreams

The kids are on this "bad dream" kick lately. I think it started when David had a nightmare and then many nights after that began postponing bedtime because he was afraid of having bad dreams. Now Sofia is doing it, too. As far as I can tell, she's just feeding off of David's fears. Last night I went to check on her after having put her to bed about 10 minutes prior and she was in bed kind of fake crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "I'm having a bad dream" and I said, "But you haven't even fallen asleep yet" to which she paused, then replied, "Uh...but I am asleep." Hmm.

So just about every night when we try to get him settled down, David says, "But I'm afraid I'll have a bad dream." So we've been telling him all kinds of things to try and ease his fears, some which seem to work and others not so much. I told him that sometimes you can even wake yourself up if you don't like your dream. I've had success with this myself, so why not him?

Well, last night I had a bad dream.
And I could not wake up.

It was the weirdest dream and though it doesn't bother me a bit now (probably because I've forgotten most of it) I was petrified while having it. It had something to do with a virus that fed off of humans and consumed them entirely. It had wiped out most of the population and I was one of the few people left and no matter how you tried to destroy it, it would come back in a larger, more resilient form. It went from a bug, to a snake and eventually turned into a man, who chased me up a tree wearing a winter parka and snow goggles as I screamed and climbed higher trying to escape him. I knew if he so much as touched me I was dead. It was horrifying and I thought, "this is just a dream...wake up!" And I couldn't. Then just as the virus man reached for me, Ernesto shook me awake.

"Hey, you were having a bad dream." he mumbled sleepily.

"I know. I know." Now I'll have to revise my earlier statement to David. Still wondering how to do this and still sound like I know what I'm talking about.

There was one really good part in the dream, though. I wasn't pregnant and could move like a ninja. It was sweet.

What's wrong with Mommy?

As I descend through the final weeks of pregnancy, it is becoming increasingly clearer than I am becoming quite useless.

My physical state is such that putting on my own shoes has become a mini Olympic event. If I can roll over in bed from my left to right side in a single rocking motion (as opposed to several attempts leaving me winded and crampy) then I feel as though I've summited my own little Everest. Today I reached for my coffee cup way across the coffee table and managed to grab it without spilling it all over the rug and myself. These are the golden, shiny moments in my day.

My brain is still somewhat intact. I can remember things pretty well. Most things. But every once in a while I'll forget something so commonplace that it's a little scary.

I am nesting all wrong. I guess maybe it's because I've already got lots of baby things, so I'm not really sweating the details, but I get easily distracted when scouring Ebay for essentials and end up purchasing items like a futon cover. Because, you know, the baby really needs that. My friend and I went shopping the other night and I bought towels, some books for the kids and some decorative Easter egg things. I left "Babies 'R us" with a lemonade and a rasberry flavored water. (The cashier asked me if this was off someone's registry. I think she was new. We're still having a good chuckle over that one.)

I still haven't packed a bag for the hospital and I still don't know how to get to the hospital. I mean, I know where it is and I have a map, just in case, but I haven't actually been there yet. They have valet parking, so that's good. You know, in case the valet has to help deliver the baby because we got lost on the way to the hospital.

Eh. I've got new towels. Maybe we'll just do a home birth this time.

See? What did I tell you. I'm just a mess.

Checking In

I thought I should post at least a little something this week, lest you all think I've gone and had the baby or was in some sort of chocolate-peanut butter induced coma. No baby yet, and I've given up my precious chocolate for Lent, so they'll be none of that for a while. (My preeeccciousssss!!)

I am 35 weeks along, and so far, so good. Baby is head down, or at least this was the consensus between at least two of the midwives I see, and since I can feel and see the little heels of the wee one scraping along the inner wall of the topmost portion of my belly (yes, it's just like those Alien movie, just not as scary) I know that they most likely speak the truth. I am walking like I've got an anvil hanging from a rope tied 'round my waist, swinging between my legs, and that's kind of what it feels like. I am intermittently happy and grumpy, both bursting with excitement to meet this child and still wishing I had another 5 months to prepare for her arrival.

Ernesto and I are placing bets on baby's arrival. Haven't agreed on a prize yet, but I think it should be something good. He's guessing March 25th and I'm guessing the 30th. Mostly because if I go into April and still haven't had her I will have gone completely insane and no one will be getting a prize anyway. Of course I am not due until April 6th, so this is all wishful thinking on both our parts. With David I went 5 days past my due date and with Sofia it was 2 days prior. So who knows?

We're still working on a girl's middle name, so if anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! My friend Alyssa has recommended the name Alyssa. It certainly is much better than Deefer.

My apologies to anyone named Deefer.