Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I'm With Stupid

I brought the Loaf to her two-year check up this past week and I was struck by how many parenting "tips" the doctors tend to ever-so-casually slip in during the visit. Maybe it's a new trend in pediatrics and they're just doing it to cover all the bases, making sure that every parent of a young child has all the latest parenting info, but I can't help but feel a little offended that the doctor feels it necessary to tell me not to let my child play in a swimming pool unattended, and that I should put sunscreen on her very fair skin. And reapply it after she's been in the water. My own skin in practically translucent, so yes, I've learned how to avoid a burn. And even though my daughter counts to ten in Spanish, they want to know if she knows how to feed herself yet. Um, yeah. With a utensil? No, we just set her down next to the cat on the floor and they share a dish. She especially likes the Tender Vittles with extra gravy.

Now, I understand they want to know where she's at developmentally. But what's this test they're giving me? Of course my daughter is in a car seat. I'm aware it's not the Seventies anymore.

I can understand them asking leading questions if I have exhibited some behavior or said something untoward that would arouse suspicion as to my parental abilities, but I don't recall saying anything to the tune of "Yeah, well, she does eat lots of healthy foods during the day but we just let her have that one bottle of Dr. Pepper before bedtime".

I know our children's physicians are there to help keep our kids healthy, prevent sickness and treat illnesses, but lately I feel like I'm the one getting checked out at the pediatrician's office. And, dude, I am way too old to be seeing a pediatrician.

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