I Crashed Myself...Again

My blooper reel from just this past week is pretty lengthy. I've no time to write a witty little ramble, so here's a summary of all the ways I've managed to maim or embarrass myself in a mere seven days:

*As already reported, I fell off the couch for no apparent reason and messed up my back on busy beads toy. Still have lingering sore shoulder and neck pain.

*Cut open the ball of my foot on rusty barbed wire remnants from up on milkweed hill. I've no idea how I managed this, as I was wearing shoes. Bled a lot and had nothing but tiny, "Dora The Explorer" bandages to cover it up. Still can't walk correctly, but then it's only been a few days.

*Slipped in bathtub on the non-slip bath mat!!! Just stepped in and the !&$$@?# thing went flying from out beneath my foot. Crashed my shin on the side of the tub. Not the worst incident this week, by far, but still made me really mad.

*Cracked the top of my head on one of the kitchen cabinets after bending down to put some of the kids' toys away in a lower cabinet. Forgot the stupid thing was there (it's only been mounted to the wall for forever) and caught the very corner of it on my skull. Good times.

*Went to Hannaford's by myself (the highlight of my week!) and went to put a bottle of spray disinfectant onto the belt and somehow the top came off and spilled all over my hands, arms, the belt and the floor. Luckily the cashier and bagger were in good spirits and didn't give me too hard a time. I helped them clean up and said, "Well, now your station is disinfected and smells citrusy-fresh. My work here is done." And with that I limped on out the automatic doors. The ones that almost shut on me while walking through them.

Now who says being a SAHP isn't full of suspense, danger and intrigue?

Okay, just danger. Lots of danger.