Sunday, January 15, 2006

Never Again

You've burned me for the last time, you ill-conceived, loose translator of driving directions. Oh, I'm sure some of you folks out there have been hurt by it too-- the popular online resource for getting from here to there. You know, the one that rhymes with "CrapFest"? Sort of rhymes, but you get the picture. I almost missed a free dinner and karaoke because of you!

Since when in English does the written direction "bear slight right" actually mean "take sharp left at traffic light"??? I didn't miss anything here. I finally got wise and asked the nice young lady at the Mobil on the Run where to go and she knew exactly and when I showed her my CrapFest print-out she was puzzled. There were two streets I was supposed to turn on that aren't even there! I mean, they don't exist in our world. Maybe they do in CrapFest land, where a left is a right, a "round-a-bout" is a bridge and a stop sign is really a red barn with a drooling cow in front.

You're dead to me, CrapFest. Keep your freakish world of lies to yourself, and get a compass for goodness sake. Me, I'm going Google from now on.

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